Hello all,

I had my first meeting with a psychiatrist today. LadyX had her appointment booked and I was persuaded along, in part as support and in part (presumably) to let those in charge try to assess how much of a contributing factor I am. It was an oddly normal situation just talking to someone, no raised voices, just a slight detachment; referring to events, people and feelings in an objective way. It’s odd I’m sure I did cold and analytical better than anyone else… not necessarily a good thing.

Apparently we all have to make more time for each other. Well when you are the only one who can hold down a job, and part of the joy of that is not having to deal with the person you are supposed to be making time for it’s an odd one. At the moment everything is being done through duty, and in honour of the memory of what my partner used to be before the depression became as bad as it now is. It is a properly tragic situation, I love her to bits, just not her as she is now. I’m more than willing to help work through, but in the day to day, minute to minute microcosm it is often impossible to see the person through the condition.

Suffice it to say that I spent the afternoon feeling (probably) the most depressed person in the house at the thought of this catch 22 and the implications of avoiding it, or in fact wanting to avoid.

It’s not all bad

T8